Writing Myself Out

One of my goals with this year’s “Christmas Chronicle” is to have a companion page for each prompt, highlighting something that happened either that day or very recently (along the lines of Ali Edwards’ “December Daily”). So far I haven’t journalled for all those pages, although I’ve been taking photos every day. I need a blog post where I can keep track of my thoughts to go on each of those pages, so this one is going to be my catch-all, and I’ll go back and add notes for the first few days.

Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Thursday, Dec. 23 – Not a very “Christmas-y” day here — I was pretty much buried up to my eyeballs in housework (it took me nearly 45 minutes just to sort through all the laundry), and there is still a lot to do, but the house is starting to feel “put together” again. I did do my Advent study, which felt like an important accomplishment, and got out for a couple of errands at the post office and the bank. We had a big breakfast, so I didn’t grab lunch until I was downtown — I stopped at KFC and had a grill burger, iced tea and fries, and heard “Jingle Bells” on the radio — sung in Cree. I’m going to commit to doing housework until around 2 p.m. tomorrow, and then I’m done (okay, I say that now — we’ll see how I do!). I really want to enjoy the day a bit — do my Advent study, drink some apple cider if Bryan will make it, play with my daughter, do some writing, maybe even go take some photos of the Christmas decorations around town, and see if I can photograph sunset by the river. And then in the evening we’ll go to the candlelight service at church, and enjoy our time with friends after that. And we WILL get the tree decorated, no matter what!

Wednesday, Dec. 22 – My plans to get the house all “put together” got curtailed this morning when Bryan got a call that the Headwaters Tech store’s sales software was giving them grief, and then again later, when editing the photos from the wedding I shot early this month took a lot longer than I anticipated. But — it will yet happen. Despite my excessive cookie consumption this past week, my official weigh-in tonight showed my weight as down nearly half a pound, and I am determined to eat lots of fruit and veggies (both “free” on the new WW plan) and do some advance points calculation on probable menu items for the Christmas feast. After the meeting, we stopped by the Scattered Site program office (a newly-established outreach to the homeless in La Ronge, commonly known as the “muskeg people”) to find out about donating money collected as an offering at the community Christmas concert, and I was pleased to hear that they are getting a lot of donations, and even having to turn down volunteers because there isn’t enough work for so many people! I was reflecting after we left that here we are trying to lose weight because we’ve eaten too much in the past, and here is Scattered Site, handing out hundreds of meals a year to people just trying to find enough food to get by. Bryan gave Sara a bath tonight, and then I read (actually, sang while showing the pictures) her picture book version of “The Little Drummer Boy” to her — Janelle gave it to us last Christmas, with a note jokingly changing the words to “PLUM rum pa pum pum”, “Plum” having been our nickname for Sara before she was born. The tree finally has lights on it, and we will get the rest of the decorating done tomorrow — I want to make sure it’s ready for the Christmas Eve gathering we’re hosting, especially after having invited yet another person — we ran into Audrey Mark at Subway, and found out she’ll be alone that evening, so I asked her to join us, and I e-mailed Laura Murton from Parents and Tots to invite her and her husband and son as well.

Monday, Dec. 20 – Who knew that finishing up an address database could be this challenging — and yet, oddly fun? We placed our order for Christmas cards from cardstore.com tonight — with 143 names, and a few extras for us and “just in case”. In years past, the address list was always our downfall, as we’d get the letter written, and then not know where to send copies, and it always seemed such a huge hurdle. Tonight, though, with the combined incentive of letting our wider circle know about Sara (and, to some extent, about our plans for missions work), and the ease of ordering from a company that will mail the cards for you as long as you upload the addresses, we finally got it done. The fun part was making the phone calls (I especially enjoyed a visit with my cousin David’s wife Nicole, who says her oldest is eagerly awaiting Santa, while the little one couldn’t care less!), using Facebook (I got four replies within an hour), Canada 411 and MySask, and Googling. I finally tracked down one of my former college professors, and am eagerly awaiting a reply to the e-mail I sent to her office. Still no tree decorating, though….

Saturday, Dec. 18 – Urgh. Word to the wise: never eat eight Danish butter cookies in one day, even if the tin says that’s only two servings. I have a major tummyache now… and you’d think I’d have learned, after doing the same ridiculous thing yesterday too! I think what I’m going to do is close up the box (which we got as a gift Thursday, along with some grapefruit bubble bath and an interactive Christmas board book, from the Early Childhood Intervention Program worker who’s been coming to see Sara) and take it to the church, either for Bryan’s adult Sunday School class or for the funeral we’ll be attending on Monday. That way I won’t feel like I’m wasting good food by throwing it away, but neither will it be in my kitchen to tempt me into diet-destroying sugary over-indulging — because man, those things are GOOD. I watched a good bit of “Miracle on 34th Street” tonight, as one of the movie channel has been running it back-to-back in both the original B&W and colourized versions. I can’t believe I’ve never seen either that or “It’s a Wonderful Life” until this year — although I still can’t claim I’ve watched either all the way through, especially with a baby to settle for the night. I couldn’t resist going in to her room again, once I was confident she was asleep, and stroking that soft, silky hair and holding her tiny hand. I could almost imagine she was dreaming of sugarplums, if she knew what those were! It’s more likely, though, that her dreams were of Cheerios, arrowroot cookies, yogourt and sweet potatoes, all of which she ate in abundance today — she had virtually no interest in her bottles, for the first time ever.

Friday, Dec. 17 – After finishing up Sara’s letter to Santa, I scanned the photo taken at the Snowflake Tea and added a caption (“Santa, this is a photo of you and me. I’m sorry I wasn’t smiling more — I think it was because you had just taken away the bells.”). I then printed it out, and put both letter and photo into an envelope, addressed to “Santa Claus, North Pole, H0H 0H0″, and added in the postage stamp corner a rubber stamped image of a star, in red ink. We drove downtown just before noon (the mail truck arrives around 12:30), and I plopped Sara’s car seat up on the counter so she could ‘hand deliver’ the letter to the postal clerk. I love that Canada Post does this for the little ones, and I’m eagerly awaiting Santa’s response. The two pieces of mail in our box that afternoon were both Christmas cards, one of which included a photo of my cousin Brad, his wife Laurel and their two kids, Derek and Camryn, all wearing goggles — and their letter was in part about their vacation at a resort in the Mayan Riviera…. Sigh. Some day, maybe!

Thursday, Dec. 16 – A bit of celebration, first — after my first week on the revamped Weight Watchers program, I weighed in tonight and learned that I have lost 3.6 lbs. since last Thursday!! That’s my biggest single week loss in nearly 2 years, and the fact that I did even with the KCDC Christmas party on my first day of tracking feels especially good. I’ve been doing a lot more pre-measuring and saying “no” to extra helpings, while still indulging my sweet tooth on (for example) that big lemon poppyseed muffin from the Shell station, and eating lots of (points-free, now) mandarin oranges. I am also pleased that I saw a big loss even after taking advantage of the free hot dogs and hot chocolate on offer at the Town of La Ronge’s “Christmas bash” at the Uniplex arena. Because of the Weight Watchers meeting (and needing to get home beforehand to leave Sara with her auntie Angie), we missed Santa and a sleigh ride, and lounging (?!) by the bonfire, but we did watch the skating from the bleachers. Sara had her face pressed right up against the glass — I’m not sure if she was intrigued by the skating, or the glass (and of course her reflection), but it was funny to watch her while enjoying my second cup of hot chocolate. I ran into a woman who used to also attend Weight Watchers, but whom I hadn’t talked to (at least not at any length) in quite a while, and learned that she is moving into a new house with her kids this weekend, after her last day of teaching for the semester — she and her husband have split up, and it turns out he has “hooked up” with a woman who’s also married (to a former colleague of my husband’s) with a couple of young kids. She said it’s better this year than it was last year (before they split), though, because this year when she lets the kids in her class go for the holidays, she won’t sit down and cry, knowing she has to spend the next two weeks at home. That made me so sad…. Bryan is feeling really badly for his former colleague, and he said as we were leaving the arena that it reminds him just how important it is to communicate constantly with your spouse about your needs. I feel really grateful for my marriage tonight.

Wednesday, Dec. 15 – I had such a lot planned for today, and aside from a sparkly kitchen, some progress on collecting addresses for Christmas cards, and my first successfully completed early morning Advent Bible study (Bryan got up early too, and got Sara ready and fed), I don’t have much to show for it. So I’m just going to call this my “recovery” day — after I got up at 7 a.m. and got all ready (even hair and makeup), had breakfast, etc., I put Sara in her crib to play quietly (since she was rubbing her eyes, I thought that might work!) and laid down for what I thought would be 15 minutes. Obviously she and I both needed more sleep, because I woke up again two and a half hours later! I need to listen to my body a little bit better, I think, and then not feel guilty about doing so….

Tuesday, Dec. 14 – No tree set-up or decorating last night — I was feeling rather Grinch-y, even after actually watching the Dr. Seuss cartoon. But after a good night’s sleep, I did feel better, and even got us organized enough to make it to Parents and Tots. The group is planning a Christmas party for next Tuesday morning, so I’m glad I found out about that, and it’s always good to enjoy a cup of coffee and some chatting with other moms while Sara plays. I got Sara down for a leisurely afternoon nap, and did my Advent study, including the Scripture readings (I don’t think I’ve ever even glanced at Zephaniah before today!). Thanks to one of my on-line friends, Keianna Price (her daughter Claire was born 8 days before Sara), I found out about a great solution to my Christmas card dilemma — a site that lets you upload your photos, write a short message, put it all together in one of their snazzy holiday templates AND (piece de resistance) mails them FOR YOU from your uploaded address database. We didn’t get the last bit done tonight, but we (okay, Bryan!) did get the tree defrosted and trimmed, and it’s safely standing behind a baby gate in our living room. Sara enjoyed discovering the taste of both Rice Krispies and pine needles today (doh), and had a great time playing in the plastic lid drawer.

Monday, Dec. 13 – The weather isn’t quite as dreadful today, and after a very lazy, sleepy morning, Sara and I ventured out to run a few errands. Her Santa photos haven’t arrived yet (apparently the courier is running behind), but in our post office box, I found a Christmas card (only the third of the season) and the last of the gifts I ordered on-line, so I’m all set to start my wrapping. I dropped off the Bumbo seat at the church for Joanne Mahoney to use for her foster baby, recycled the pop cans/bottles and milk jugs, ordered my prescription refill, and booked an appointment for Sara in advance of her CT scan in January (a pre-op needs to be done by one of the local doctors). The gas tank was only half full, and the Shell station has great coffee and homemade muffins (lemon poppyseed today), so I stopped off there and chatted with Corinne Lazurko about Christmas plans while her stepdad, Kevin Leung, filled the tank. Corinne said Kevin and her mom, Cora, haven’t been around on Christmas Day for 6 years, but I still remember a last-minute coffee cream run for my dad on Christmas Eve, when I found the Shell open when none of the other stores were. At the medical clinic, I ran into Sharon Feschuk and planned an outing with her to photograph Christmas lights, followed by hot chocolate or apple cider, and Alice Parada, who stopped by after I spent a teary bit of time sorting through Sara’s outgrown clothes — I am returning Alice’s gift of hand-me-downs by doing the same for a friend of hers who just had a baby girl after several boys. Hoping to decorate the tree yet tonight…

Sunday, Dec. 12 – All three Advent candles were aglow this morning, and Pastor John mentioned that the white one this week is the shepherds’ candle — I was very glad to see them. We celebrated communion, with the loaf of bannock and tiny cups of grape juice that we always use, and John shared some reflections from Romans 8, which is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. Then, in lieu of a sermon, the kids from Timea’s class on worship (and Bryan, cast as “Mr. Bell, the best Sunday School teacher ever”) re-staged the short musical they did for Monday night’s Christmas concert. Appropriately enough, the plot has the kids enjoying a post-Christmas concert party with their class, plus a newcomer whose family had just moved to town after losing their home in a hurricane. Overall it went very well, aside from Robert McKenzie Jr. struggling to do up his Joseph robe, and Toshio Green forgetting his line and improvising a bit of nonsense, then handing off the microphone with a flourish, which resulted in Natasha Prokopchuk dissolving into giggles and being unable to sing her solo. Bryan says that kids’ plays tend to be a bit cringe-worthy to watch, but this one was actually very solid and fun to be part of. Plus, the entire congregation got oranges to take home, and the kids got the classic brown paper bags of candy and peanuts.

Sunday, Dec. 5 – I feel sad that there’s been so little acknowledgment of the Advent season in our church this year — last year we had families come up to do a short reading and light each week’s candle in the Advent wreath, and this morning none of the candles was even lit, although one of them was partially burned. Sigh… Pastor John’s sermon series on Romans continues to be strong, though, and I found myself rhapsodizing about the significance of Advent over lunch (sweet-and-sour spareribs, rice and curried veggies) with our guests, Royal Atton and Klara and Alden Epp, who seemed intrigued by what I had to say. A short excerpt from today’s reading, by Scott Cairns, from God With Us: Rediscovering the Meaning of Christmas: “Our participation in this cycle is one way we might, as they say, redeem the time. ‘The days are evil,’ writes Saint Paul, imploring us to do something about it. … During the Advent season, in particular, the eternal significance of our days becomes crucial to our apprehending how, now and ever, God is with us. What is the nature of this gift we have received, this gift we hope yet to receive? Have we come to understand it as a proposition or do we welcome it as a person? Is the One we call our Lord Jesus Christ a lovely idea, or is he the lover of humankind?”

Saturday, Dec. 4 – This morning we went (very briefly) to the Snowflake Tea and Craft Sale at Gordon Denny Community School in Air Ronge, to get Santa photos. Sara was totally relaxed with Santa, even when he had to take away the little set of jingly bells she’d decided to chew on. The photographer had to ask us to stop trying to get her to smile, as she was looking at us instead — I would have loved to have gotten the shot of her checking out Santa, instead of looking straight at the camera, but I didn’t even have my camera with me. She wore a gorgeous little dress with a velvety top and a tulle-y skirt with little flowers in it — 12 months size, and it actually fit! — and also a pair of white leggings with printed designs on the feet that made it look like she was wearing black strap-on shoes. I hope that she continues to be so calm and happy when even strangers are holding her, because there were some red-faced, tearful little kids coming away from Santa’s chair! The money goes toward the Grade 2 class trip, so that’s all right, although it would be more fun to say it was going toward covering Santa’s travel costs from the North Pole. We all managed to sleep in again, so it wasn’t the perfect, relaxed morning with a big Saturday breakfast and then time for shopping, like I’d hoped, but we did have scrambled eggs and managed to get there in time for Sara’s photo shoot and a quick, out the door cup of cider and a chocolate chewie for me before I had to go photograph (pro bono) a very small, last minute wedding at our church.

Thursday, Dec. 2 – Winter has settled in deep in La Ronge, after a remarkably mild November that was actually snowless for the first bit, and I expect it will get colder yet. I just wish I could figure out what I did with my lovely black mittens that have finger holes on the inside to make them more like gloves. I snapped this photo in our driveway, which fortunately doesn’t yet have a thick coat of packed snow that causes the van to “bump” going onto the cleared street, after bringing Sara home from Baby Talk at the library. We learned some “Jingle Jollies” (ie. Christmas rhymes and little songs) with other moms and babies, including Jody’s little guy who was celebrating his first birthday, listened to library technician Judy Angelstad reading several Christmas picture books, and did this photo ornament. Most of it was pre-made by Nikki Beaudin, one of the other library staff, but we brought the photo, and Sara was supposed to get her fingers inked and stamp them on the back. For some reason that resulted in a rather out-of-character crying fit — next time I think I’ll rub the ink on, like we did for her six-month handprints, instead of trying to press her fingers into the inkpad! So, yes — that smudge on the back of this ornament IS her fingerprints, or what we could manage today anyhow!

Wednesday, Dec. 1 – I couldn’t help but be amused by how festive my cart of groceries looked this afternoon, with our first-of-the-season containers of eggnog (aka “lait de poule”) and mandarin oranges, and a Christmas craft magazine thrown in as well. The Co-op Marketplace has its fresh food sections all bedecked with sparkly red and green garlands, the seasonal area full of Christmas decorations, and right when you walk in, there is a display of fruitcakes and gingerbread house kits (which I was tempted by — it might be easier than baking our own!), and a blow-up Santa who goes up and down in his snow-covered chimney, and a whole wall (or so it seemed to me!) of boxed chocolates.